Monday 5 November 2007

Being a non smoker & wedding plans!

Today is the day I quit smoking. I have said it so many times before, but this is the time I will succeed. I'm already at lunch time without having a single puff. GO ME!!
My weekend was great. I have chosen my bouquet ... deep red roses with little diamante's. And we chose the button holes and flowers to go in my hair.
We have found where we will be having our meal after the vows and have chosen where we are having our evening do. We are going looking at both places on Wednesday!!
J's mum is coming round for an hour after work. And then my mum is coming to see my wedding dress. So it is all now falling into place!!!
I'm really looking forward to my big day ... it's all so exciting! xx

Thursday 1 November 2007

Only 3 and a half months until I get married!

Argh!!! lol. Well this is what is happening so far... we are getting married at the registrar at 3pm. Then we ''may'' go for a meal, with just family (we will see nearer the time if we can afford it), and then a room booked somewhere with a buffet and a DJ.
So... we have the rings, and yes they do fit! :) I have a wedding dress that I am collecting and trying on tomorrow after work. Then I need to find a professional cleaners for the dress. We have 20 simple boring invites (for if we can't afford decent ones). We have a few little table decorations. And oh has a suit if we can't afford to get him a new one.
So as you can still I still need loads to do... my list so far consists of...

  • Buy or make invitations - send at end of November
  • Give notice at registrar on 15Th November
  • Try on and clean wedding dress
  • Find a room to book that's cheap and lets you do your own buffet
  • Find oh a suit, tie and shoes for wedding
  • Buy button holes and bouquet and flowers for table decorations
  • Buy gifts for mother of bride and mother of groom
  • Make wedding favours
  • Think of a colour scheme for decorating
  • Buy balloons and all the other required bits
  • Find honeymoon that allows dogs and is cheap
  • Buy handbag to match dress
  • Buy shoes to match dress
  • Think of first dance song
  • Think of seating plans
  • Decided what order do will go in
  • Decide what menu to give to the caterers

And that's all I have come up with so far, so I'm not going bad, but I'm also not going good lol. Ah well, hopefully it will all fall together pml xxx

Wednesday 31 October 2007

An emotional wreck..

Today I am an emotional wreck. The witch got me early hours this morning, and it wasn't pretty! My hormones are all over the place! So.. back on the Clomid tomorrow *sigh*
Back to terrible side effects, and horrible mood swings. It can only get better right?
I am trying to convince myself, that this month will be THE month, because if I think about having to go through this for the next 6 months I end up in tears just at the thought of it all.
Well the good luck came in 3.. so obviously now it will be back downhill for a while. As is always the way! Ah well.. back to reality!

Tuesday 30 October 2007

They Say Good Luck Comes In Threes

Well it seems as though our luck may be starting to turn! Is it a one off I wonder? Or may it be the start of greater things?
My first good luck news, is that we have now booked our wedding :) Woo! We will be getting married on Friday the 22ND of February. We will have been together 3 years. We will be having a little wedding at the registrar, and then we will be booking a room where we have a DJ and a buffet for all our friends and family to enjoy. It's going to be a blast!
We have sooo much to do, and so much to plan, but I just know it will all work out fine :)
My second lot of good news, is that after all the financial struggling we have gone through, we have managed to find a decent debt management company that will help us with our debts. All we will have to do each month, is pay them a fixed amount and they will spread it out between our debts. Which means no more nasty letters popping through our door on a daily occurrence. No more threats over the phone. No one turning up at my door step or harassing me 24/7. Ah, it will be pure bliss. And we will be debt free quicker (hopefully).
My third lot of good news, is that after having my 21 day blood tests last Wednesday I thought I would phone them, just to see if they have had my results back yet. Well fortunately they have and.... the Clomid tablets WORKED!! I have ovulated for the first time in 25 months I have released an egg (well I probably haven't ovulated in years, but the 25 months I know of lol). So now I am really happy. I am on cycle day 27 today, and I am not hopeful to being pregnant this month... not sure why I'm just not. Probably because after 24 months of being hopeful, you just give up hoping after a while!!
But.. we will see won't we! I have been told by my consultant, that if the witch does not get me by cycle day 35 then to take a test. But I hate taking tests! They are so disappointing! You get that excited glimmer of hope, and then it is all dashed in an instance!!
So.. we shall have to wait it out and see what happens. If the witch gets me then its back on the medication (same dose 50mg) and we will try harder and pray more.
Surely this entry is worthy of a comment? ;)

Sunday 28 October 2007

No lie in for me today!

Well was up at 9am today :o and why? Because the gas man is due to come at ''some point'' to do a gas safety check. So I was up early, showered and went to the shop for bread crackers and jam. So for brekky I had jam on crackers lol.. mmmmm.
Has the gas man been yet? Nope.. did I NEED to get up early? NOPE!!
So, my plans for today are to get lots of washing done, which I will start in a moment ;) Then have a bit more of a tidy around the house. Then I need to sort out a nice girly outfit to wear tonight, as Jamie's mum is taking us out for a meal, for Jamie's birthday (which is tomorrow).
I have a challenge for myself at the moment. Well, actually I have 2!
The first is to stop biting my nails, as I would look so much nicer with nice long nails!
The second is to try and look more girly everyday and to try harder with my appearance. I hate feeling ugly, scruffy, boyish, shy and unconfident. And I cannot afford new clothes, so will have to make do with what I have.
But it would be so nice to feel girly every day! Anyway enough of the waffling, I'm off to make myself a nice warm brew :)

Friday 26 October 2007

Friday is here! Still no phone, and no psp :'(

Well Friday is finally here, after today I am off work for 3 days as it is Jamie's 24Th birthday on Monday. Though I am very disappointed as I have bought him a PSP for his birthday with 3 games. I paid for it 2 weeks ago, and because of the stupid postal strikes and the incompetence of those workers, it has not arrived in time for his birthday. So I am highly pee'd off. Now he will have nothing to open, and I feel mean and guilty about this fact. We are skint now from me buying him that, so I cannot even get him a small something to open on the day.
Another thing that hasn't turned up is my company mobile phone. I have been waiting 3/4 weeks for it now. Everyone else at work has theirs apart from me, grrrrr!
Can't you just tell I'm in a ranting mood today? I'm sat at work typing (while I should be working), as everyone in the office has gone out. So I am here alone answering the phones, doing my work (plus some skiving, of course!).
Anyway, Jamie is working late tonight, until 9pm I think. So tonight I am going to relax, and maybe do a bit of cleaning.
Then tomorrow while he is at work, I am going to go into town and pay all the bills, then back home to tidy the house, do the washing, occupy the dogs. As on Sunday we have a gas man coming send by our landlord, to do a gas safety check. So the house needs to be tip top, as I hate it when strangers think your a slob!
Anyway, Sunday night Jamie's mum is taking us to Indian Ocean for a nice meal (as his birthday treat). Then on Monday I get to spend the whole day with my fiance on his birthday with no interruptions.
So if anyone is reading this... any ideas on something romantic I can do for him that is cheap? Or ideas on a lovely romantic meal?
Tomorrow I might just pop to Asda and get us a nice bottle of bubbly. Then I am thinking Monday morning, get up and cook him breakfast. Then a nice romantic meal for tea, with a bath and a glass of bubbly. Sound to good to be true? That's because it is! There's a slight catch... I can't cook !
So wish me luck... I'll need it lol.

Thursday 25 October 2007

A wedding dress and an upset mother

Well I was given a wedding dress at work today. From one of the bosses who got married not so long ago. His wife just happens to be the same size as me. My only problem now is how to get it home.
I walk to and from work everyday, and it takes me roughly around 30 minutes.
My mother is very upset about me wanting to get married. She has had 2 failed marriages, so I can see where she is coming from. But at the same time I really want her to understand what marriage means to me, and to be happy for me. I honestly don't think she will be coming to the wedding. As I know she won't enjoy it and I'd rather she stayed at home happy than came and got all upset.
Either way the wedding will still be going ahead as planned. We love each other so much, and have wanted to marry for a while. Plus we really want to have the same name before our first baby is born. As that just feels right to us.
On the fertility front I am on day 22 today. I had my blood tests yesterday, so in 6 or so days I will hopefully be able to get the results, and find out if I did indeed release one of my eggs. Or if it failed miserably like it has done for the past 25 months!!!
I used to get excited about being in this stage of my cycle. I used to feel hope, and would get obsessed with looking out for pregnancy signs. Now I have just given up with it. The less excited and hopeful I get, will hopefully mean the less disappointed I will feel if I am yet again not pregnant.
Some people are harsh with me when it comes to fertility. For one work don't know, because I haven't told them. So when they joke about babies and things like that, they do not know it can sometimes upset me.
But the people who DO know how long I have been trying, and what I have been through. The people who then make jokes or tell me to relax because ''I'm only young'', but who at the same time have 5 little ones running around.
And I especially hate people who say ''What do you mean you can't conceive? How is that possible? All I have to do is look at my husband and I catch... it's simple!''
That's what I hate most in life, judgemental people, stuck up people, people who look down the end of their nose at you, or decide they don't like you because of how you look, or speak, or walk etc etc. Some people are just plain selfish... and arrogant.
Well anyway... Monday is usually my ''ranting'' day, but I see Thursday may now become one too lol.
I see no one has left me a comment yet, probably because no one is reading this lol. Oh well... what did I expect? LOL